I wrote this for a friend’s magazine (Cosmic Ray) a while back… Thought I’d blog it on this lovely Saturday >>>
Two of my colleagues just gave me the news (well, not at the same time) – they’re getting married. Oh wow! Rice and stew very plenty, and Ankara too!
As much as I was excited for them, my radar was all over the place. Why were these ladies getting married now? I mean, yeah they’re already at very marriageable ages BUT something just didn’t feel too right; so I sent my human German shepherds to go sniffing, and yes, they did find something…
There was nothing mysterious about Lady A’s sudden wedding announcement; Lady B, however, was pregnant! Hence, rush wedding hour! Not like I’m saying there’s anything mysterious about pregnancies; as a matter of fact, finding out that you’re expecting a child WHEN you indeed want one is a wonderful thing.
Lady B is expecting, but does she want it?
‘It’ doesn’t just mean the child; ‘it’ means everything! The child, the rush wedding, the about-to-change marital status, the new responsibilities as a mother and wife, the man! Yes, the man! Not every girl out there is married to their Mr. Right, because they ‘mistakenly’ got pregnant for Mr. Not-So-Right!
Pregnancy, pressure, haste – what is pushing you to fix a date? Are you like Lady A who is shopping for a wedding dress because that time has come and she WANTS to be married or are you like Lady B who isn’t well enough to go shopping yet because of the evils of the first trimester?!
“I do…” You’ve been dreaming of those words; words that once uttered seals the deal. Life will be such bliss after those words; the pressure, the disrespect back at home, everything ends! BUT do you know that new things begin after those words? Are you ready?!
Apply some brakes to your very sugary thoughts about how your life will be much better after “I do”; answer this question for me – what exactly are you do-ing?! Agreed, you DO take him/her as your lawfully wedded husband/wife, to love, respect and honour him/her throughout your years together… yada yada yada! Yeah, I get it up to that point, but…
DO you take him/her when his/her hygiene is intolerable?
DO you take him/her when he/she has a zero relationship level with God?
DO you take him/her when his/her health is really (REALLY) poor?
DO you take him/her when he’s/she’s comparing you with girlfriends/boyfriends past?
DO you take him/her when his/her angry looks are throwing daggers right at you bull’s-eye style?
DO you take him/her when y’all run into his/her ex and you discover there’s some unburied ish still going on?
DO you still take him when, after a quarrel, he refuses to talk to you for days?
What about when y’all are experiencing a little bit of financial setback, and she calls you ‘useless’ and ‘good-for-nothing’; DO you still wanna DO ?
What if you had a miscarriage and he says “look, the only reason we were (translate to ‘I was’) getting into this was ‘cause of the pregnancy, let’s call off the wedding”, DO you still..?
If you still DO after you’ve thought about all these stuff and more, and you think you can take it all, then congrats! You can, indeed, say you WANT to marry; go on, I give you the go-ahead to go down on your best knee and ask her to be yours forever!
Just remember, once you say I DO, you have given yourself – body and soul – to the one you love. The die is cast. It will be too late to question whether his snoring drives you crazy with irritation or whether she’s the most annoying person during her cycle! Better to be sure before you decide you WANT to marry.
My work here is done! Hope you enjoyed reading it! Y’all have a wonderful weekend…